Redemption of the Unforgiven
by lunaschild
Summary: He wanted nothing more than to be free of his past once and for all, she was the light that shone the way. Sequel to 'Dead Man Waketh' AU


**Disclaimer: I own neither Final Fantasy XII nor its characters.**

**A/N:** After some careful consideration, I have begged the help of a beta for this story. You now have BesigedInfection to thank for its new and improved readability! I have high hopes for this story and I know those of you reading do as well. I do not want to let you down. So this is a complete rewrite of chapter one. My thanks to those who have already begun reading this and to those who have already reviewed. Enjoy!

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**Chapter One**

The sun beamed down on a sole, smiling Hume where she lay in the grass with her arms splayed out to her sides, content. She was a curious sight to be seen on the banks of the Soghot with her twin platinum-blonde plaits and lack of a mask.

A content sigh escaped her lips. She was at peace in her own little world, and it would have stayed that way if not for a dark imposing shadow that had moved to block the warmth of the sun.

Penelo frowned and opened her eyes. Her gaze traveled upwards until it found the only other Hume that could be found in Jahara. She huffed and sat up, attempting to ignore the tall blond man that stared down at her.

"Might I join you?" he requested in his usual gruff manner.

"Just sit down Noah," she said with a groan, then muttered under her breath, "You're blocking the sun."

She looked up just in time to see his mouth turn up at the corner. With Noah, smiling was always a task. He wasn't the happiest man in the world; that was for certain. She did try from time to time to coax a full smile from him, but his familiar smirk was better than nothing.

"Earlier," he said and then paused as he leaned against his staff to help lower him to the ground beside her. "I did not mean to cause offense."

Penelo gave him an off-handed glance. "I know."

Noah grunted in reply and Penelo fought the urge to elbow him. The soldiered man was exasperating. She had only been back in Jahara for three weeks and all they seemed to do was argue. It didn't matter what the issue was. To his credit, he would always apologize after she did, but then he'd go and say something stupid and she'd just get angry again. It made her wonder why he wanted her to stay in the first place.

Penelo sighed, heavily, and flopped back onto the ground. She once again tried to ignore him by setting her sights on a lazy white cloud that actually dared to wander into the blue expanse. It was odd for Noah to come looking for her. Usually she had to put things to right. Peeking at him from the corner of her eye she found he was doing the same to her. Her lips twitched, asking to form a smile, but she knew if she did he'd probably get the wrong idea and they'd just start fighting all over again.

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Noah tried to be discreet as he studied the woman lying there in the grass. Her hair was a stark contrast of the deep greens along the bank. She looked peaceful and it made him wonder what she was doing that put such a big smile on her face before he showed up.

He remained silent. He didn't really know what to say and he was trying his very best not to anger her further. An impossible task, but one that made him appreciate just how little he knew about her. It seemed the only thing he really knew was how to fuel her temper. It certainly wasn't something he was proud of.

Noah had tried to be agreeable. He would sit for hours in silence as she went about her daily routine. Penelo had quickly informed him that behaving like a rock was not being agreeable so he tried to help. That was a disaster. You wouldn't know it by looking at her, but the tiny blonde had an independent streak that rivaled Drace's on a bad day. At least it got him out of most of the household chores. He was still healing and apparently didn't know the first thing about fluffing pillows.

'Why the Hells does a woman need her pillows fluffed in the first place?' He thought to himself.

"So," her voice drawled in a questioning tone, pulling him back from his thoughts.

He stared at the horizon. "What exactly is it that you are doing?"

"I'm watching clouds. You should try it."

He peered down at her skeptically. "Watch… clouds?"

"Yeah," she said with a laugh. "Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do right now."

Noah frowned at her. Penelo slapped her forehead with the heel of her palm and sat up. She placed her hand on his wrist and smiled.

"Please?" She asked softly.

"As you wish," he snipped and his eyes narrowed. "But there are far better things that I am capable of doing at this moment."

"I know that," she said with a roll of her eyes. "But you're the one that came to me, remember?"

"And had I known you were only wasting time, I would not have bothered," he growled.

Noah felt his insides cringe as Penelo jumped up. Her hands went straight to her hips and her bare foot started the all too familiar cadence of agitation.

"If I'm wasting so much of your time, then maybe you should just go and leave me alone."

"I am not the one standing," he reminded her.

Her eyes widened. "I don't believe you!"

Noah knew he should have just kept his mouth shut, but there was always something about her tone that just made him rile. He watched as she started pacing back and forth.

"I came out here to get away from YOU; you follow ME, and then tell me I'M wasting YOUR time?" She ranted.

This time he did keep his mouth shut. His bottom lip was drawn into his mouth to prevent him from saying anything. He hated lectures and even worse he hated being lectured by her. She was right, but he didn't have to like it.

'I tire of this,' he thought to himself.

"What was that?" Penelo demanded.

Noah glared at her. He had made the mistake of thinking aloud.

"I tire of this," he grounded out.

"Me too," she sighed.

He startled as she settled next to him on the ground. Usually she didn't give in this easily. Then she leaned against him and his body stiffened. She was rarely this intimate with him. He looked at her and gave a hesitant and awkward smile.

He observed her as her hand ran over the blade of grass that had been matted down from her fury. She was being the bigger person right now and it made Noah feel that he had to do something too.

"I fear I am not used to a life of peace," he offered softly. "It has been hard to adjust."

He turned his gaze to stare at the river. It had been years since he had the courage to trust anyone. With Penelo it seemed easier.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," she said and he felt her head turn against his shoulder.

"You need not apologize. After all, it was I that came in search of you," he said and angled his head down to look at her.

Noah tried to hide the shock at the close proximity of their faces. She always seemed too close to him now. He wasn't use to seeing the tiny imperfections of people's faces; like the spray of freckles on her sun exposed cheeks or the little flecks of green in the irises of her eyes.

When he was Judge Magister, rarely was there an individual willing to be in the same room with him and certainly not so close. He didn't know what else to do, so he continued staring, mesmerized by her willingness to be near him.

"Hello?" Penelo teased and a hand waved in front of his eyes, shaking him from his daze.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and quickly turned his head away.

"What were you thinking about?"

"The past," he replied.

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. Even if he felt he could trust her, it didn't mean he trusted himself. He didn't want to burden her further with something he barely understood.

"Oh," she said timidly. "Well I guess I can leave you alone—if you want me to."

He shook his head. "Nay, I would have you stay."

He felt her slight burden lift away from him and he turned his head. She was intently studying the grass under her feet. She looked like she was on the verge of running away again and Noah felt something in heart twinge at the thought.

"Noah?"

"Hmm," he hummed.

"Why," she said hesitantly. "Why did you want me to leave? Before, I mean."

Noah took a deep breath. It wasn't a question he was prepared to answer, but he had been expecting it. She must have been working to pluck up the courage to ask. He could give her an answer, but would it be enough to make her stay? He wasn't sure. He had already given her one half truth, but that was for something trivial. No, he needed to tell her. Maybe if she knew then they wouldn't fight so much.

"I did not think you would be happy," he said insipidly. "Spending your life as a caretaker, I did not think you could be happy."

"Noah," she chided and he watched a tiny smile form on her lips. "Just so I wouldn't be unhappy, huh?"

Noah's shoulders slumped and he expelled a heavy breath. "You deserve to be amongst family and friends. I am well enough now; you need not stay."

"Trying to get rid of me again?" she asked teasingly.

He found himself unable to return the smile she gave him. "You should live your life free of me, Penelo. I do not wish to hurt you further."

"Hurt me?" she questioned, studying him with wide eyes.

Noah bowed his head. "I can bear no more shame and I am loathe to be the cause of any more of your tears."

He was ashamed. Somehow the truth wasn't as freeing as he had hoped it would be. Her silence wasn't helping the matter, either. Noah took a chance and looked up. Penelo had her head cocked to the side and she just stared at him. He didn't know what she could be thinking, but her lips parted in surprise as she released a tiny gasp.

"You want me to be happy and you don't want to hurt me, right?" She surmised.

"Aye," he agreed, suddenly unsure of where this was going.

"I can live with that," she said in final tone and smiled at him.

Noah's eyes narrowed. "You would not be happier elsewhere?"

"Vaan visits and he brings Filo and Kytes with him most of the time," she said with a shrug.

Noah raised an eyebrow. Of all the outcomes to this particular conversation, this wasn't on his list of possibilities.

"Besides," she continued. "They're the only family I really have left and my friends, well they're kind of too busy for me at the moment."

Her carefree smile made his soul feel lighter somehow. He found he was able to smile too, even if it did feel odd on his face.

"I don't hate you Noah. You need to know that. I know you did what you were told, you didn't know. You couldn't have known… about Reks. And I don't think it was you that really killed him. Vaan said he just slipped away, slowly. I think Reks died because he felt guilty."

Her words were soft and gentle. They held a wisdom that she could never have amassed on her own. Somehow they reminded him of his brother. The thought was bitter and he fought to understand why.

"I was his deceiver, was I not?"

"No," she stated firmly. "Don't blame yourself for something that can't be changed. I told Basch once, and now I'm telling you; Reks' death is not your fault. It was a war and people die, even people we love. You don't have to forget what you did, but you can't dwell on it either. You're not the monster that you think you are, Noah. If you were you wouldn't have helped us in the end."

He couldn't respond. His eyes felt an unfamiliar stinging and he was grateful when she looked away. Somehow, her small hand still found his and her fingers entwined themselves within his. It was a small comfort; one that he wasn't sure he deserved, but she had sounded so certain of herself that he wanted to believe her. He needed to believe.

He felt the grip of her hand tighten.

"Watch clouds with me," she softly requested.

"As you wish," he whispered.

He felt her hand release his and he laid down. An arm wormed its way under his neck and Noah smiled. His gaze was now fixed firmly on the fluffy, white spots that blotted the great blue expanse above him. His thoughts drifted to the woman who chose to stay by his side. He had never felt more at peace with himself, except perhaps the times when he was young and still sharing his mother's lap with his brother.

Noah didn't know to what to expect from his future now. He still wasn't certain he had one. Jahara seemed like a place where a man could die in peace, but Noah no longer wanted to die. He wanted to stay here, by her side and find the peace she offered. Maybe then he could forgive himself.

Penelo's fingers played with fabric of his tunic. She had pointed out a cloud that looked like Chocobo. Noah chuckled.

'Perhaps cloud watching wasn't such a waste of time after all,' he thought to himself.


End file.
